Who You Are
by Unproductive-Fangirl
Summary: Nova has been keeping something from her team, but when Oscar accidentally opens the wrong pocket of her backpack it all comes crashing down around her. The reveal ends up leading to a rather awkward explanation, a team field trip, and ultimately a question of identity.
1. Discovery

**Chapter One**

 **Discovery**

Technically the food from the cafeteria was free and Nova could take as much as she wanted, so she wasn't doing anything wrong. But it felt like she was. Most people only ate lunch there, and maybe grabbed a snack or two during the day. There were exceptions, like if people worked super late at night or came in early and grabbed breakfast, but the general rule was lunch and snacks. She was probably not supposed to pack up a bunch of the food to bring home with her every night, if not because it was an actual rule than because it was an unspoken one. Nova was pretty much one hundred percent sure she was the only Renegade that brought home a backpack full of food with her at night.

It wasn't that Noa really cared about "stealing" from the Renegades. They made more than enough food in the cafeteria to go around. The real issue was that she didn't want to draw attention to herself, and walking into the cafeteria and filling her backpack with food was sure to raise a lot of eyebrows. But she also couldn't pass up the free food, especially when the other options were whatever supplies they had scavenged together that week off of what Nova made (being a superhero didn't pay nearly as well as she thought it should, but she supposed there were a lot of Renegades and not a lot of money), and what Leroy had been able to trade chemicals or honey for.

So, what she had been doing was slipping in and out of the cafeteria when she passed by, just grabbing food here and there. Then she would slip around a corner and as soon as she got the chance she would pull out a ziplock, dump the food in it, and then put the whole thing in her backpack. It wasn't perfect, the cafeteria workers gave her odd looks, but it was the best plan that she could come up with.

As a result the food was usually a hodgepodge of things that weren't usually eaten together. Mostly snacks or things that could be grab and go style of food, like muffins and bags of chips, but it worked. By the end of the day her backpack was usually pretty well filled and no one had ever said anything about it.

This had been working well, and she had been getting away with it for weeks. She had even been getting braver about taking some real food (stuff that wouldn't go bad in her backpack for a few hours obviously) rather then just snacks. Maybe that had lured Nova into a false sense of security, confidence that she wouldn't be caught, and that had made her lazy.

Or maybe Oscar was an idiot who didn't know what the front pocket of a backpack was. That seemed much more likely.

Either way they had been sitting around in a private room at headquarters during what was supposed to be "team building" time. That basically meant they were supposed to be playing the games or completing the puzzles set up in the room, but they were all ignoring them in favor of just talking. Oscar was trying to explain in vivid detail the monster he had seen in his dream the night before, and on a challenge from Ruby was refusing to just make a smoke image of it.

"Look it was like-" Oscar shook his head, before reaching over to steal a piece of paper from Adrian "Nova, give me a pen."

"Why would you assume I have a pen? Adrian is your better bet there."

"Adrian is more of a marker guy, and I need the detail of a pen not broad marks," Oscar shook his head a bit, before looking back at her "And you have everything."

"He's not wrong," Adrian shrugged, grinning a bit as he twirled a marker between his fingers.

Nova sighed, but waved her hand toward her backpack, which she had set on a chair near the door when they first entered "Front pocket, should have blue and black if you want variety."

"See? Everything," Oscar said, grinning at her and pushing himself up to grab the pen, and making Ruby laugh a bit.

"He does have a point Nova, you're sort of overly prepared," She agreed, shrugging.

"And to think, I trusted you Tucker," Nova teased in return, a small smile playing on her lips as she did so.

"I didn't say it was a bad thing," Ruby fake complained in response to the teasing "Come on Nova- you know I love you."

"I'm blushing-" Nova replied, the smile raising a bit again at that.

"Dang McLain, and I thought I had a snack problem."

Nova's head snapped up, the smile she had been letting come through dropping off. There was Oscar, standing next to her backpack with the full food haul she slipped for the day open for all to see.

"Does that look like the front pocket to you Silva?" Nova snapped, mind racing for an explanation. A reason she would have taken so much food and had it all neatly packed away for later that didn't include feeding two and a half (Phobia never ate as far as she knew, and they could only visit Ace so often) hungry anarchists dinner every night. That didn't have to do with the fact that the only things they had at home was honey and whatever Leroy could manage to trade for, something that was even harder with Ingrid gone.

To his credit, Oscar did blush and look embarrassed about it "Sorry- I got confused and just sort of went for it. I didn't think it would be a big deal."

"It's not," Nova replied easily, because she had to play it off like it wasn't. And really it wasn't. So they knew she was taking food from the cafeteria, so what? She just needed to come up with a reason she had it "If you still want the pen it's still in the front pocket."

"Right," Oscar awkwardly zipped up the big pocket and went to grab the pen out of the front one.

However when he returned to the table he didn't start to draw. No one said anything, and they all seemed to be pretty deliberately not looking at Nova. She could feel the question hanging in the air, and after a second she sighed a bit "If you guys are going to act all awkward instead of just pretending it didn't happen, then go ahead and ask."

They all looked at each other again, and she could tell Adrian was giving the other two a look to try and get them to drop it. He had been to her house before. He had seen how empty the cupboards were and- well- everything else about the house. And how embarrassed Nova had been by it.

Despite Adrian's attempt, Ruby still looked back at Nova and after a second, asked "Why are you carrying around a bunch of cafeteria food? I mean, if you want a snack for later that's cool but- that's a lot of snacks-"

"My uncle had to go out of town for a little while," Nova replied without missing a beat, the lie coming to her as she went "It was sort of sudden, and he forgot to get groceries before he left so I figured I'd stock up on some snack stuff."

Adrian eyed her, but didn't speak up. She figured it was a good enough lie to fool Oscar and Ruby, and if need be she could tell Adrian later that they were tight on money. It was stupid, but it embarrassed her, just like it had when he showed up at her house and saw how empty it was, but it was better than telling him the real reason.

Slowly Oscar nodded a bit "I understand that, can't have a weekend with no snacks. But why be so secretive about it? I mean we're allowed to take food if we want, no need to hide it."

"I wasn't sure if we were supposed to take it out of the building or not," Nova shrugged "I've never seen anyone doing it."

"It's fine, people will take things on patrol and stuff," Adrian cut in, giving her a small smile and shrugging at that.

Nova just shrugged in response, and he must have figured she was uncomfortable because he quickly added "So, you going to show us what that monster looks like or what?"

"Oh- yeah-" Oscar nodded, picking up the pen and turning back to the paper he'd grabbed, seemingly glad for the distraction.

And just like that things were back to normal. Nova let out the slightest sigh of relief. Crisis averted. Now she just couldn't be caught doing it again.


	2. Friendly Visit

This wasn't a good idea, and Adrian had done everything he could besides just outright saying Nova wouldn't want them there to talk Oscar and Ruby out of it. But they had persisted, convinced they had come up with the best plan in the world. To be fair, they thought all of their plans were the best in the world.

So here they were, Ruby holding a box of pizza, Oscar a pack of soda, and Adrian reluctantly leading the way to Nova's house. Technically either of them could have found Nova's address themself, and he was sure if he had refused that's what would have happened, so he didn't feel to bad about leading them there. Basically he was just making sure they got there with the pizza still slightly warm instead of wandering around till it got cold. If he couldn't talk them out of going, he should at least make sure they didn't get lost.

Adrian had only been to Nova's the once. He had been tempted to go visit again, but it had been obvious that Nova was uncomfortable with him being there, even when he had never once mentioned the house or its… lack of contents. Not that Adrian cared, but he did understand why she would feel embarrassment. Nova was proud, and though she was good at hiding it, she did care about what people thought. And- well- there was no getting around who Adrian's dads were. They were part of the council, and as a result their family was relatively well off.

Or, maybe it had nothing to do with his family or anything like that. Maybe it had nothing to do with being embarrassed and she was just a private person who didn't want people at her house. Either way, he doubted bringing two more people would be appreciated, even if they were Oscar and Ruby. Maybe especially because it was Oscar and Ruby.

"Are you sure you don't want me to carry the soda?" Adrian asked, though he knew even as he asked it that Oscar would refuse. The guy was to stubborn. In an attempt to maybe get him to give in, Adrian added "It's a pretty long walk, and I'm sure as hell not going to carry you if it comes to it."

"I'll be fine," Oscar assured, like Adrian thought he probably would "But if it's really that far then maybe we should have taken a transport vehicle."

"They don't run all the way there-," Adrian replied, shrugging.

"Is it really that far? I mean, doesn't Nova go back and forth every day?" Ruby asked curiously, looking over at Adrian as well.

"Yeah- it is, and most. Sometimes she just stays through, but usually she goes back around dinner time and than comes back at night to enter data," Adrian nodded, before hesitantly adding "It's also not really in the best part of the city."

"So?" Ruby shrugged as well "I doubt anyone's going to mess with us, and if they do then they'll be in for a surprise."

"Yeah, we're way to badass to be worried about something like that," Oscar agreed, grinning a bit.

"I'm not worried about us being in danger it's just-" Adrian hesitated before sighing "Look there's no good way to say this but- her house is kind of in bad condition."

"What do you mean?" Oscar raised an eyebrow a bit at that "Like, when my mom tells me my room is in horrible condition because I keep putting off picking up, or like when someone gets hurt in battle?"

"Like- broken windows bad condition," Adrian hesitated again. He felt bad sharing Nova's personal information when she was so secretive, but they would see soon enough anyway. Better to at least prepare them a bit "Last time I was there the only thing in the cabinets was honey."

"Oh," Oscar's face fell a bit at that "Right."

"Okay," Ruby agreed, before shrugging "But so what? I mean, none of us grew up in luxury or anything- especially during the age of anarchy."

"I know, but that was then. Everybody had hard lives during the age of anarchy. Now-" Adrian trialed off a bit and shook his head "I'm just saying- the reason she was taking food might not have just been because her uncle forgot to buy snacks."

"You think she was lying?" Ruby asked curiously, slightly disbelieving.

"I think Nova is a proud person who doesn't like to share personal information in general, especially not when she feels like it's embarrassing or makes her stand out from everyone else," Adrian replied easily.

"Right," Ruby nodded at that "Well, either way, who doesn't like a pizza party, right?"

"Just- don't' be surprised if she isn't overly excited to have us there."

"Really? I expected Nova to squeal with delight and hug us, crying with happiness," Oscar replied, rolling his eyes.

"Just don't be surprised if she's not happy as you think she will be," Adrian replied "And don't say something stupid about the house."

"Relax Everheart, we're not idiots," Oscar assured.

"No, but sometimes you make jokes or sarcastic comments without thinking."

"Fair, he doesn't always think," Ruby agreed, smirking a bit at Oscar, before looking back at Adrian "But we're not going to say anything, like we even care she lives. Come on, you know us better than that."

"I know- just-"

"Just relax," Oscar said, bumping Adrian's shoulder "Everything will be fine."

Adrian just silently hoped that they were right.

* * *

They all froze for a moment when they heard the knock on the door. Then, without a word, Nova pushed herself up and headed for the window that gave a partial view of the front door. It wasn't a great angle, but she managed to make out one of the people by the door. Oscar.

"It's just my friends," Nova replied, sighing a bit. When she turned back Honey and Leroy were already gathering their things to disappear into the top floor of the house.

Nova made sure they were gone, picking up a few things herself, before finally heading to the door, brain spinning. Why would they all be here? She had to assume Adrian and Ruby were there too and that Oscar hadn't come all the way out here on his own. Adrian she could maybe get coming, he had done it before, and he had implied he wouldn't mind visiting again, but Oscar and Ruby? What the hell were they doing here? Possibly more importantly, could she come up with a reason to send them away?

Before she could come up with an answer though, she was at the door and she knew she had to open it soon or the time it took would be weird. So, taking a deep breath, she pulled it open, just raising an eyebrow at them without a word.

"McLain!" Oscar grinned at her "We come bringing provisions!"

"I'm sorry, what?" Nova leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms, still trying to think of a reason to not let them in, but none coming to her.

"You said your uncle was out of town so we figured we'd surprise you with a pizza dinner party," Ruby filled in, grinning at her and lifting the box she was holding a bit "Sorry it's probably a little cold, but should still be good."

"How did you guys even find my house?" Nova looked pointedly at Adrian as she did so, eyebrow still raised.

"Don't look at me, they found your address in the records all by themselves," Adrian shrugged, though he raised an eyebrow in return, a look that only Nova could see. She was pretty sure he was trying to make sure she was okay with this, which was sweet, even if there was no way to tell him she wasn't.

Nova hated the stupid registry they had set up so that all the Renegades could find each other. She supposed it made sense, but she really didn't like that anyone of them could find her address whenever they wanted.

"So- I guess you want to come in then?" Nova asked a little awkwardly as she glanced around, not actually moving to let them in.

"Unless you want to eat on the front step," Oscar replied, shrugging a bit.

Nova was half tempted to agree to that, but it was to chilly out ot be an actual option. And they had brought her pizza, it would be beyond rude to not let them in. So after a moment she just moved out of the doorway and took a step back "Kitchen's through there, Adrian you know the way. Go get comfy or whatever, I need to find another chair."

There were only three in the kitchen. They only ever needed three. It wasn't like Phobia or Ace ever came to dinner, and they didn't exactly have company. So, before the others could respond Nova slipped away into the other room. After a few minutes she made her way back, carrying a tall stool she had managed to find.

Despite herself, Nova was nervous as she headed towards the kitchen. It wasn't really about having three renegades in the house, Leroy and Honey had proven remarkably good at hiding and anything that could give them away was upstairs. As long as she kept them in the kitchen and front room it would be fine.

Instead, the nerves were about how the others would react to the house and if they looked into the cupboards to find very bare minimum supplies.

It was stupid. They wouldn't care, and even if they did, she shouldn't. But... she did. As much as she didn't want to be, Nova couldn't help but be embarrassed by the house, by the horrible condition it was in. Leroy, Honey, and her had done a little to make the house more livable, but it wasn't a priority, and none of them were great at that kind of thing anyway. Well, Honey was good at knowing what _should_ be done, she just wasn't good at actually doing the work. Now she wished it had been more of a priority.

However, when she entered the kitchen Oscar and Ruby were bickering as if nothing was out of the ordinary, while Adrian pulled out the plastic plates Nova had spontaneously picked up cheap one day. Being a Renegade didn't pay well, but enough that occasionally she could splurge on something like that.

"Hey, find a chair?" Adrian asked, looking over.

"Nah, I'm just going to carry this stool around for awhile," Nova dead panned, before setting it down and sitting on it without looking away from Adrian, who just smiled a bit as he watched.

"There's no need to be snarky," Adrian rolled his eyes as he reached over to hand Nova a plate with a piece of pizza on it.

"That's literally my whole personality."

"Honestly Everheart, it's like you don't even know her," Oscar teased, grabbing some pizza himself.

Despite her initial reluctance and how she still couldn't help but feel embarrassed by the shitty house, Nova did have to admit it was nice to have them there. To have a group of people actually sitting around the dinner table, not talking about anything in particular, and eating actual food for dinner. And as dinner went on and nobody said anything, she felt herself relaxing more and just letting herself enjoy spending time with the others.


	3. Identity

"We should do this again," Oscar said, grinning as they watched Adrian wash the dishes. Nova had said he didn't have to, but of course Adrian had insisted and just sort of started doing them. Nova was pretty sure he still felt a little guilty about not talking the others out of showing up uninvited.

"You just want an excuse to eat more pizza," Ruby teased in return to that, shoving him a little as she did so.

"Come on, don't call me out like that," Oscar complained, before looking over at Nova "What do you think McLain?"

"I'm up for it- but next time let's not do it at my house," Nova replied evenly, before trying to make it seem less rude by adding "Way to far away from any pizza places, it'll be warmer if we go somewhere else."

"Fair enough," Ruby agreed, quickly nodding at that.

"We can do it at my house," Adrian offered, shrugging as he finished off the dishes "My dads won't mind- though they may be super annoying if they're there. They like trying to be the 'cool' dads."

Somewhere in the back of Nova's brain she knew she should press for that. Hell, the chance to actually go the captain's house? But Oscar spoke up before she could.

"Or mine. The apartment is kind of small, but as long as we're neat my mom won't mind," he shrugged.

"We'll figure it out," Ruby replied, rolling her eyes at them before checking her communication band "I should get going. I told my parents I wouldn't be to long after dinner."

"Me too," Adrian sighed a bit "My dad's will be worried if I'm not home before they are planning to go to bed."

"Right," Nova nodded, knowing she should be relieved. They were all leaving, none the wiser then when they came, but instead she was slightly disappointed.

Still, soon enough they were making their way back down the street, away from her house. Once the door was closed she let out a sigh, taking a moment before going to finish cleaning up the kitchen. It was only a few minutes after later that Leroy reappeared.

"Have fun?" He asked, moving to the table "Don't suppose you saved any of that pizza?"

Nova didn't bother asking how he knew. Leroy had learned to listen around the house. She just shrugged at the first question, knowing that she had but not about to admit it. Instead she just focused on the second "No, sorry, Oscar could eat a whole pizza by himself. I did get a future invitation to Captain Cronium's house though."

"Good," Leroy nodded a bit, though he didn't seem particularly excited about it. After a moment he added "You don't have to keep doing this you know. The information you have gathered has been useful, but we were getting on without it. We could do it again."

"What are you talking about?" Nova asked, looking back at Leroy with confusion "Why would I stop? I'm getting important information, and I'm finally starting to get more access to things like the archives. Besides, Ace would never approve of me just giving up."

"He would prefer you giving up to you falling into their hands- and if he were to think you might be sympathetic to the Renegades-" Leroy was looking at her in a way that Nova didn't like. Like he was looking through her. Of all of the anarchists Leroy had always been able to see through her the best, even better than Ace "You're his niece, and he cares about you, but I'm not sure what he would do if he thought that."

"Sympathetic? To the Renegades?" Nova actually laughed a little in disbelief at that "Please-"

"Maybe not the organization- but individuals-" Leroy shrugged slightly "You called them your friends."

"I-" Nova hesitated for a moment, before shaking her head "Habit, at headquarters I obviously call them my friends. That part of my brain just hadn't been turned off yet."

"Sometimes when your undercover it can be hard to balance the two lives, the longer you stay the harder it will be to turn that part of your brain off," Leroy was still looking at her, eyes searching her's.

"I'm fine Leroy," She replied evenly, not looking away from him "You should be happy, I just got guaranteed access to the captain's house."

"Which is good, but not if it comes at the expense of you starting to doubt things. We don't exactly have a ton of allies right now," He paused for a moment "Be careful not to forget what they did or who you are, Miss Nova McLain."

"I know what they did Leroy, I know who I am. I know I'm not Nova McLain, not Insomnia," Nova held Leroy's gave as she spoke, not backing down "I'm Nova Artino. Ace Anarchy is my uncle. I'm not a renegade, I'm an anarchist. I'm Nightmare."

Except, once the others had gone to bed and Nova was left with nothing to do but sort through her thoughts, she couldn't help but think about what had happened. About how easy it had been to call the team her friends. How they had gone so far out of their way just to bring her pizza and soda and hang out because they thought her uncle had gone on a trip and left her with no food. How they hadn't said a single thing about the house. How if nothing else, she was _their_ friend.

Also, how sometimes in the morning she found herself walking faster than normal to try and get to headquarters quicker. How she loved moments where Oscar and Ruby were so effortlessly teasing each other back and forth, and without thinking would include her. That they actually seemed to appreciate her snark and find her sarcastic comments funny. How nice it was to actually hang out with people her own age.

She didn't want to be a Renegade. The whole organization was corrupt and needed to be ended, there was no question there. But there was also something so nice about being part of a team, especially one that seemed to care so much for each other. The anarchists were technically a team, but there was also no question that they looked out for themselves.

And how, for just a second, when Leroy had called her "Nova _McLain_ " she hadn't realized anything was wrong.


End file.
